We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
