was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
