Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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