Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
