Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
