walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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