I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
