How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
