If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Randomize
