Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
