So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
