i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
