I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
