She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
