i just google imaged poop.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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