fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
