i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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