Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
