My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
