Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
