Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Less talking, more tequila
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
