What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
