I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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