Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
