quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
