if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
