And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
