no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
