omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
COCAINE IS GR8
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
