So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The best revenge is premature balding
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
