so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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