Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
someone threw a dead crab at me
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
