My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
