I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
