She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
