what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
