You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
