my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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