I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
