I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
we're making bets on your personal life
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
