I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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