Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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