I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Randomize
