Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
