You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
