I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
