i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
