Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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