Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
this hospital has no fireball
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
