is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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