U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
